Honor

Johnny Jones, 6 June 2003

I have such good friends here in Viburnum, as you could see from my wedding articles, true friends who help me with words and actions.

But not all my good friends are here. Some live elsewhere, like my friend Carol*, in California. Our babies were in diapers together - in fact, Carol taught me how to fold diapers for little boys (we used cloth diapers then!). She is just about the neatest, cleanest person I know, and one of the kindest.

We've stayed in touch over the years, and Carol has helped me with her listening ear and her compassionate heart, tuned by the Lord she loves.

When one of her children needed a place to stay between jobs, Carol and her husband took him in, along with his wife, their baby, and even their dog.

Before they came, Carol prayed to be like Jesus to them, to be humble and gentle and to help them feel at home.

They stayed five months. When they left, their thanks to Carol was minimal.

As I was shopping for ice cream (don't you love Ben and Jerry's "Everything But The..."?), a pre-school boy was clambering to get his choice in frozen desserts. The emphasize his point, he hit his mother ö with his fist.

On the way out, when he wanted candy and she said they had candy at home, he called her "stupid."

Home Life, the Southern Baptist family magazine, ran article in April of this year entitled, "Get Thee Behind Me, MOM." It was subtitled, "Is your teen embarrassed to be seen with you in public? Here's why - and what to do about it."

Part of the sidebar said, "Step back three paces when a friend approaches. Let her pick the table in the restaurant. Invite her to make rules for speaking to her in public."

All these stories make me feel the most violated of the Ten Commandments in America 2003 is "Honor your father and your mother."

And that wasn't just for ancient Israelites. In Matthew, Mark, and Luke, Jesus quoted the command and expanded on it. He quoted it again to the rich young ruler. In Ephesians, Paul emphasizes that it is the first commandment with a promise.

Many scholars believe the commands were given in order of importance. The first three were about our duty the God, the last ones about our duty to man. The first one concerning duty to man was, "Honor your father and your mother."

In What We Can't Not Know, J. Budziszewski comments on the Decalogue. He says, "The point of the Fourth Commandment is that parents are God's delegated representatives to their children. To dishonor their authority dishonors the one who appoints them." So we could see this as a transition commandment, suspended between duty to God and to man.

It may not be clear at first glance just why the stories at the beginning of this article violate this great commandment. In weeks to come, weâll flesh out the details and implications, and see what we can learn together.

*Name and place has been changed to protect her identity.