History

Johnny Jones, 15 November 2002

The best gifts can't be bought. We've heard that again and again, but when Christmas or birthdays come up, we head towards Penney's, or Western Auto, or Wal-Mart. Seems the thing to do.

But there are non-material gifts that can be most important -- like family history.

It wasn't until our children were older teens that I thought much about the letter I give them each year on their birthday. This verbal scrapbook tells about their activities and accomplishments, their joys and sorrows, during the time they were 8, or 14, or 17 - whatever year just passed.

This has become easier in the years since I've been writing letters to our friends and families every two weeks. These epistles are a treasure trove of our doings, and a supplement to my memory.

But one year I didn't have time to put together a birthday letter for either Bryan or Amy. Too busy. Around Amy's birthday we were making college visits, and around Bryan's birthday I started teaching a sociology course for Southwest Baptist University for the first time. It required a lot of time to prepare, and I had less time for our family.

All year long I felt a loss. Writing about events verifies them and lends them importance. All year long I kept telling Amy, "When I have time, I will do your birthday letter."

The week Amy turned 16, I decided one of my gifts would be her birthday letter for ages 14 and 15. It was five pages long and took hours to put together. But it meant a lot, to Amy and to me.

One of my friends took excerpts from scrapbooks to make a special remembrance of family life for her college-age son to take with him as he left home. My sister, a great photographer, makes picture essays which her two-year old peruses again and again. For a birthday celebration, sometimes I ask our family to join me in a watching slides from when our children were little.

We do these things because we wanted our children to know they are important. Capturing and preserving personal history legitimatizes it, makes it seem real and precious. Every phase of life is unique, and our children change and grow so very quickly.

I thought about this as I found a stray cassette tape on our dresser. Where did it come from? I decided to listen to it so I could catalog it and put it out of the way in storage.

What I heard was fascinating. At that time Amy was three and Bryan six and in first grade. I was reminded of many details I'd not remembered for years: That one of Amy's friends cut her hair, and all her friends had long hair, and she coveted pony tails; the first grade circus Jacque Reed's class put on; our short-lived PTO; Bryan's earning and saving money for a lego expert builder kit; what our devotionals were like when the children were little; a visit to Larry Ragsdale's to hold baby lambs.

How do you record your family history? Do you get out the VCR or digital camera? Sometimes low tech is good, too & at Thanksgiving it might be fun to taker paper and pencil to the table, and have everyone write something they were thankful for during the year. It would be fun to read, and valuable family history, before too many years. That's something that can't be bought, but can be shared.

May the Lord bless you as you give thanks to Him during this time for all the gifts He has flowed out on all of us.