Dionne Quintuplets 

Johnny Jones, 21 March 1997

When I was growing up I heard a lot about the Dionne quintuplets. In what seemed to me my boring country life, I sometimes fantasized being one of five cute little girls adored by everyone and given a large sum of money by the government.

It turns out those five girls might have fantasied about being me. I saw a television show about them that popped my dream bubble permanently.

I missed the first part about how this happened, but the doctor who delivered them was given custody of the girls by the Canadian government. Everyone wanted to see these tiny toddlers given the best chance at becoming adults.

The doctor certainly succeeded at that. The Dionnes were the first quints all survive to adulthood. He obviously gave them excellent medical care. That's what everyone seemed to want for them: The best. Spare no expense at protecting these children with what was available through the miracle of medical science.

But no one seemed to be as concerned about other parts of their lives. When the Dionnes won back custody of the girls, it may have been too late for them to became a real part of the family. When the quints were almost ready to graduate, their parents finally brought in some girls their own age to attend school with them. One of the girls said the quints seemed very shy, and kept to themselves.

The movies of their younger years showed little girls being efficiently dressed, brushed, and looked after by competent nurses. Maybe the nurturing went on behind the scenes. Maybe it never occurred at all.

It struck me as sad. Two of the girls are dead. Most of them got married, but their marriages didn't last more than a couple of years. The three remaining now live in self-imposed isolation, alone except for one another.

What occurred to me was the possibility that their caretakers were so careful about their physical needs that they paid too little attention to social, emotional and spiritual needs. If that was truth it was, quite obviously, a mistake.

I think zookeeper parents might have been more common then. Zookeeper mothers are those who give their child good physical care, but interact with them very little. With immunizations and antibiotics making their appearance to the masses, a mother who took care of her child's physical needs was thought to be a very good parent. Rigid routines were lauded as the latest in scientific child rearing. In fact, one lady from the old school warned me, while I was pregnant, not to rock my children. She said that if I did, I would spoil them.

We know so much better now. We have the Harlow experiments with monkeys to demonstrate how important contact is to little ones. We have the foundling studies that demonstrate vividly that children need nurturing to thrive. One report I heard said that parents now have access to so much more information and so much more equipment that they have the potential to be the best in the history of the world.

That is true. But it's like the little girl with the curl. The best are very, very good--but some are horrid.

For example, there is too much neglect of children's primary needs. There are too many children sent off for the day lacking, not only nurturing, but having someone make sure they are fed and properly clothed.

So have we come full circle? Is what the country doctor did for the Dionnes the best we can now expect? Should we settle for physical care?

Doesn't it make you feel good to hear about someone's teaching their child to be responsible? Isn't this something good parents have always done? The Dionne quintuplets could have used some of this loving concern. So could many, many kids today.
 
Note 2017: Many parents understand their children's emotional and spiritual as well as physical needs.  Good for them!