Complaining Children
Johnny Jones, 29 March 2002
Sometimes the description of the children of Israel wandering in the desert strikes a resonant chord.
"The people were very discouraged; they began to murmur against God and to complain against Moses. `Why have you brought us out of Egypt to die here in the wilderness?' they whined. `There is nothing to eat here, and nothing to drink, and we hate this insipid manna.'" That's Numbers 21:4-5 from The Living Bible.
If the passage didn't sound familiar - the whining, the complaining, the grumbling - then you may not have children.
What was the Lord's response? He sent snakes among them for punishment. After the snakes, the Israelites must have decided the manna wasn't quite so insipid after all, because in the 7th verse they came to Moses. "We have sinned, for we have spoken against Jehovah and against you. Pray to him to take away the snakes."
It's sort of like the story of the rabbi and the three men living in a little house. They complained, and then the rabbi brought in a donkey, a rooster and a lamb. After sharing their cramped quarters with the animals for awhile, the rabbi put them outside again. Then the house seemed quite roomy when the animals were gone. It's all a matter of perspective.
No, I'm not suggesting that we release snakes on our children. But let's don't let our children take our time and gifts for granted. When I see kids shopping with their moms, and the mother is practically begging her daughter to try something on - "Please, honey, it will look good on you," and the young lady is saying, "I wouldn't have that thing!" I wonder if a little perspective might be helpful.
When a child treats a parent disdainfully, maybe she needs more chores, more responsibility to help her see that even though she's a princess, Mom's not the slave.
When our children were younger, emptying one trash can was the consequence. Then it grew to emptying half the dishwasher, then to taking care of the laundry for the family. Chores that can be imposed and completed immediately were most effective for whining. Since most children are little lawyers-in-training, they work best when everything is spelled out. For example, no after-school snacks until the bedroom is clean. Or, you can't leave for school until the dog is fed.
It's important to follow up with action. Because as Lech Walesa said to our Congress years ago, "We have heard many beautiful words of encouragement. These are appreciated, but being a worker and a man of concrete work, I must tell you that the supply of words on the world market is plentiful but the demand is falling. Let deeds follow words." Deeds. Not threats, nagging, or anger. If you want to convince your children how you feel, you demonstrate by actions. Let's see some positive action to help children preserve their sweetness of spirit.
Our children need our help to maintain their perspective and to hang on to those quiet and gentle spirits that are so lovely and charming. They need us to help them overcome whining and complaining.
And aren't they adorable?
