Celebrate
Johnny Jones, 15 November 2000
I started thinking about celebrations while looking up recipes for the holidays. It called to mind another celebration long ago, when we got our oldest Easter basket. Our next-door neighbor in Tucson brought it over for Bryan; he was about ten months old.
"Even though he's too young to understand," Leona said, "he'll catch the idea of celebration." She was right. So was Jane Grundemann, who years later talked about commemorating a young child's birthday. "Whether the child understands or not, you'll know!" she emphasized.
Another inspiration for festivity was Dr. Dorothy Dixon, an educator at the first pre-school conference Leann and I attended. Dr. Dixon talked about making a to-do over events most people don't observe. For example, her college-age son had a terrible time with an English class. When he finally got through it, they had a party, complete with banners and balloons.
Yvonne, my sister in Dothan, Alabama, says most of her friends don't have "real" birthday parties anymore; they take a bunch of children to Water World or to ShowBiz Pizza, and have birthday cake there. Yvonne thinks that cheats kids. Barbara Bush must agree. I remember reading as an accolade to her that Mrs. Bush gave "labor intensive" birthday parties for her children.
What's most daunting about home parties is what to do. Here are some ideas that have been fun for us.
1. Treasure hunts. Children old enough to read love these! You remember how they work - give a child the first note, (which says, for example, "under the sofa cushion") then hide the second note under the sofa cushion, with instructions about where to go next. Four notes work well, with a party favor at the end. For summer parties we made these favors water guns, then divide up sides for a water gun war afterwards.
2. Water wars for summer. Besides water guns, we give two teams a faucet and a bunch of balloons. Rules are established for out-of-bounds and for a safe zone for refueling. I haven't discovered an upper age limit for this yet, but I warn you: when there are adults involved, it's not for the tenderfoot.
3. Pinatas. Odelinda Hughes introduced us to this Mexican custom. We have used pinatas for birthdays and class parties, Easter and Christmas. Even though our children are grown, they're still fun.
4. Participatory treats. I got lots of compliments the time I served taco salad to a passel of girls. I had chips in one bowl, meat in another, lettuce in another, and so on. Each girl made her own. Another popular delicacy is an ice cream sundae - I put out ice cream with strawberry jam, Hershey's syrup, bananas, nuts, or cherries, and let the kids fix their own.
5. Make it meaningful. We plan for lots of fun - but also for moments to pause and think about what we're celebrating. At Thanksgiving one year the Roscoes made up a Thanksgiving limerick; the Bill Lanes gave us a Thanksgiving trivia quiz. For birthdays, it's been our tradition for everyone to tell the birthday person what they like about him. Nothing complicated - just an affirmation of why we're all together.
I think Barbara Bush and Yvonne have it right: kids don't remember McParties as much as the Real Thing. And birthdays are especially important to children: they are the only holiday to celebrate them.
Dr. Dixon closes her chapter on nurturing spiritual growth in The Formative Years with this sentence: " The important points to remember are that children appropriate a sense of values and a lasting faith from approaching life with wonder, from being close to adults who are trustworthy and loving, and from celebrating with enthusiasm and creativity those occasions which stand for the meaning messages of life."
What we're doing in celebrations is building memories. And memories are too important to leave to chance - or to some anonymous franchise. Make sure you're building those memories. Celebrate!
Note: Now we are doing some of these special celebrations with our grandchildren.
