Biblical Tips

Johnny Jones, 1 March 1997

I walked all over Rolla Wal-Mart trying to get away from the wails of the tiny baby, wails that turned to a desperate choking cry. I had heard enough babies' cries to know this infant needed help--to be fed or comforted, to be changed or burped. Finally the mother, after yelling at the baby, left the store. As I bought a soda at McDonald's near the food department, I heard two women talking.

"Did you hear that baby?"

"Yeah. Probably just wanted her own way."

Each time I go to Wal-Mart, I hear indications that more parents have lost an understanding about kids. I decided to take a look at what the Bible has to say about parents and their children.

The attitude about children is that they are a reward from the Lord, a blessing from His storehouse. In fact, one of the Biblical curses was being robbed of children. Children were carried off, along with material wealth, in wartime. They were part of the treasure the conquering armies gathered to themselves.

Next, I saw that little children have something in their nature that is spiritually desirable. In fact, Jesus said that unless we change and become like them, we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:4 says, "...whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

The Bible assumes that it is natural for mothers to be gentle and comforting, and for Dads to be compassionate towards their kids.

Parents are to provide for their children. Part of that provision is teaching, training, and raising them. Deuteronomy is pretty specific. It says, "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

Proverbs has ideas about what this training involves: "The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother." It also advises, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

But that is no excuse to beat kids or to pick on them. Eph 6:4 says, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Col 3:21 says, "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged."

So let's put this together. If we consider our kids a blessing, how should we treat them? Should we ignore their needs, or carefully look after them, as we would a treasured keepsake? If it is natural to love our kids, and to be gentle and compassionate them, how do we speak to them? How do we talk about them to others?

If fathers--not Moms, but Dads--have the God-given responsibility for training their children, bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, talking to them while they sit at home, when they are on the road, when they rest, and when they get up, how much time does this assume that Dads will spend with their kids? Kids won't obey their parents if they aren't taught to. How are we teaching them respect, both for ourselves as their present authority, and for God? If we are not to annoy our children, is it OK to pick at them? If children have a spiritual nature, something we should desire, what does that mean about how we treat them?

It is a fact that children are a blessing from the Lord. It is also a fact that, in spite of their desirable qualities, "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child." So we need both to respect and to correct our kids. If we leave off either ingredient, we will suffer the consequences of our own folly.

At the Wal-Mart cash register I heard, "You know what he said to me last night? Mommy, you're a poop head. And he thinks I'm going to get him some candy now?" In that comment, I heard both a lack of respect for the child, and a deficit in correcting the child. I heard both resentment and impudence. We can't buy into the idea of raising kids (almost total freedom, little or no discipline) and fail to see an outcome. The world has said kids will do well if we will leave them alone and let nature take its course. We have left them alone; what we have are sad, neglected children. When the Dads don't assume their responsibility, we also have Moms who carry too heavy a burden.

The Bible is right. Our kids require both our love and our discipline--because they are our wealth, our inheritance from the Lord.